November 2007 GOal Getter
If there's a will, there's a way...
Three years ago on November 23, I joined Momentum; it was just a few weeks short of the first anniversary of my mother’s death. I had spent 15 years supporting her in her battle with colon cancer. But no one was taking care of me — not even myself. It was time for me to work on me. I was overweight and out of shape.
I also have rheumatoid arthritis. Much different from osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis is an auto-immune disease that causes the body to destroy the soft tissue of the joints. It is a debilitating disease that affects mostly women starting in their 20's and 30's. Not only does it cause joint damage and crippling, but it causes a debilitating fatigue like no other as well as depression and deep, unrelenting joint pain and stiffness. I was diagnosed in my early thirties. My disease has been treatment resistive. At 56, I have exhausted all treatments available except two very new ones. I currently am receiving I/V infusions every four weeks and giving myself weekly injections. But this treatment is now losing its effectiveness. My liver is showing the effects of years of pain medication. All this sounds quite bleak, but I am not ready to even think of giving up my fight. This is where Momentum comes in...
When I joined, I decided to work with a personal trainer, and I got assigned to Abby (aka "Abbs" or the "Abbinator" for good reason). I wasn’t sure this was going to work as she was so young. How could someone so young understand a middle-aged woman with a chronic, incurable disease? Would she be too tough and too impatient with me? I was so wrong! She has been my rock, my champion, my cheerleader. Abby has been there for me for every triumph and every setback. She has never given up on me when a flare of my disease has set me back and left me demoralized. She revises my workout to fit wherever I am with my pain, stiffness and treatment cycle. For three successful years I have worked with her on a weekly basis.
My goal continues to be to strengthen the muscles that support my deteriorating joints. I started three years ago lying on my floor moving my arms and legs and pressing my lower back into the floor without weights. Abby then added light resistant bands. Many months later I triumphantly moved to my first piece of equipment — the recumbent bike. I now do upper and lower body weight training on several pieces of equipment and have moved from no weights to a whole bunch of weights! I balance on the Pilates ball while doing leg lifts, “stand up—sit downs,” and resistant bands. This November, I started my first class—BodyVive. Abby has helped me adapt some of the BodyVive moves to lessen the stress on my wrists and ankles. I am also now climbing hills on the treadmill. Abby is my nutrition coach, too, and I have lost 20 pounds, and my bodyfat percentage has gone down, down, down while my muscle percentage has gone up, up, up!!
The hardest part of dealing with a chronic, debilitating disease is accepting it. I grieve for the fit, active body I had before the disease. As a singly, middle-aged woman, I wonder if a man will ever find me desirable again. Yes, I do find myself in a funk at times. Yet, I refuse to give up and languish in a wheelchair. I will sit up straight and balance on the physio (“big”) ball. I will stand up straight and keep my shoulders down. I will lift whatever weights I can at the moment. I will move to the rocking music in BodyVive even if I am out of sync. I will give that treadmill a workout itself. I will workout weekly with "my Abby". I will be the Buffest Betty I can be at this moment. This moment prepares for the next moment whatever it may bring.Thank you, Leighann, for having a place where women with chronic illnesses are accepted, supported and encouraged in body, mind & spirit to be as fit and healthy as their bodies will allow. Thank you, Abby, Wendy, Amy, Linda, Jacki, Deb, Charlene and all the rest of you for helping me find the courage to move forward when disease is trying to push me backwards.