May's GOal Getter
Tough Love... A Mother’s Story
As a mother, I believe in tough love. When you have four daughters and live everyday of the month with someone in the house having PMS, you have to be tough... "Don’t roll your eyes at me. Come on. Just do it!"
These are words I used to say to my daughter to prod her to unload the dishwasher or clean her room. Today they are words my daughter says to me as she increases the incline of my treadmill to 12 or counts out another set of ab crunches. I hate the pain. I hate the sweat. But I hate the number on the scale more.
Abby Dlugolecki. Her name inspires a mixture of love and fear among the Momentum crowd. Women of all ages love her little giggle and cute smile; then they’re caught by surprise when that giggle and cute smile comes with the command for another set of squats . . . then another . . . and still another. I call her the "Exercise Nazi." I have heard others call her the "Abbinator." And still others using names a lot less flattering and inappropriate for a family newsletter. But they all admit that Abby’s "show-no-mercy-with-a-smile" technique has helped them shed pounds and gain a figure. And she has done no less for her mother.
I was always able to keep the number on the scale relatively stable by watching the carbs and sugars and doing some kind of exercise. I jumped, jogged, and jiggled for years with Jackie Sorenson aerobics in a church basement; then I moved on to water aerobics at the YMCA. But when I went back to work, I didn’t have the time to exercise . . . or so I told myself . . . and some extra pounds began registering on the scale.
And then came menopause with a capital "M." "That’s early," I can still hear my doctor commenting. Peri-menopause began in 1996 when I was 46; hot flashes and even more weight followed. Suddenly, little tricks I used to shed five pounds quickly didn’t work . . . and pounds really started to add up. I joined Momentum, did the machines and tread mills, and was faithful for a while. Then I went back to teaching in Fall 2001 and over five years—as lesson plans and correcting papers demanded more of my time, and night sweats and insomnia interrupted my sleep patterns--my money went to Momentum regularly but I did not. The very time I was feeling too stressed and too tired to exercise was the very time I should have done the opposite to rev up my metabolism that Mother Nature was slowing down. Elastic pants became my best friend!
However, at the time my personal commitment to working out at Momentum was waning, Abby was about to graduate from Towson University with a degree in Exercise Science. I encouraged and advised her to go to Momentum to talk to Leighann, a Towson graduate herself, about Momentum’s unique role as the only women’s fitness center in the area. Because of that conversation, Abby began as a summer intern with the Girlz Rule program . . . and the rest, as they say, is history.
Then in a role reversal . . . Abby began to advise me. My breaking point regarding my weight came last January. I had just recuperated from foot surgery that kept me sedentary for three months. I was disgusted with the way I looked and felt and told Abby I needed help, her help specifically. My new year’s resolution was to take off the weight, and this was one resolution I did not intend to break. I refused to buy clothes another size larger.
Abby is absolutely dedicated to the principles of good nutrition and healthy exercise. She’s a strong believer in eating well . . . six times a day . . . and combining those well-chosen calories with exercise. She told me about the nutrition program, where members can track food consumption and calories online, making participants accountable for choices and portion size. Although proper nutrition comes down to eating more fruits and vegetables and going lighter on the sugars and starches, I suddenly saw in caloric numbers and black and white what was good for me and what was better. Quite an eye-opener.
Weight started to come off . . . but very slowly. Abby recommended getting active in Momentum classes and suggested I start with Yoga and Mat Pilates to stretch my muscles while enjoying the more meditative music. I loved doing Yoga with Kathy on Mondays and Pilates with Kristin on Tuesdays; over the summer my torso was becoming leaner and I was beginning to trade arm flab for muscle.
But when September came and my work schedule changed, I suddenly had to find different morning classes for later in the week. Abby highly recommended "BodyVive" with its upbeat music and 20-minutes each of stretching, strengthening, and cardio. I fought it. I don’t like to sweat for 20 minutes. Well, it took only one class with Christine on Wednesday and Charlene on Thursday to hook me. Christine and Charlene immediately made me feel welcome, introducing me as "Abby’s Mom." (women groaned at the connection!) The classes were challenging but bearable because of the music. Who knew there were so many ways to torture someone with a little ball and a stretch band? And the squats. So what if I couldn’t walk for a couple days? My muscles finally adapted. I was actually looking forward to class, having fun, and seeing a difference in the scale. But I was unaware of what was happening with my body until November. I put on a winter top I had bought on sale in March . . . and the top was much too big! It simply hung from my shoulders with no definition over other body parts. I couldn’t believe it.
Another reward was buying my first pair of jeans in at least 10 years. No elastic. They were boot cut. Size 12. I called Abby to tell her. She was so proud.
And people are beginning to notice my weight loss. Family. Friends. And my doctor, who was pleasantly surprised and very encouraging. when I whined to her that it has taken a year to lose 25 pounds . . . make that one-half pound a week (it’s like these pounds are "super-glued" to my body) . . . my doctor said those 25 pounds have a better chance of staying off, so be happy.
So now it’s time for the next 25 pounds. Will I stop rolling my eyes every time Abby increases the incline on my treadmill? No I won’t. And will I still call her unflattering names? You bet. But at the heart of my weight loss—despite the role reversal of who’s in charge at Momentum—is the humility to ask my daughter for help when I needed it. I gave tough love as a mother. Now I’m benefiting from tough love from my daughter. Together we’re taking steps that will keep me in my mothering role a bit longer, a lot healthier, and tougher than ever.